Jowell Lambasts 'Scum' Fountain Wreckers

Extreme stupidity and foolishness by the British public was to blame for the dramatic closure of the Diana memorial fountain according to Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell.

Ms Jowell, who is responsible for the fountain in London’s fashionable Hyde Park, lambasted those who urinated in the water and let dogs ‘conduct their natural business’ in it, calling them, “toothless simpletons”

Ms Jowell said: "We accept that there are problems with common scumbags visiting the Royal Parks with their pushchairs, crisps and smelly dogs. I have written to the Prime Minister and informed him of the problem”.

"Once these people are sorted out for good, we may be able to attract a much higher clientele to the attraction”

Two working class adults and a child were taken to a NHS hospital after falling in the same place on the east side of the source pool.

An investigation has been launched and the designers are considering ways to keep riffraff away, one idea is to have a ‘fountain charge’, which will exclude working classes and peasants from approaching the memorial.

Jowell said that many of the visitors to the fountain since its opening had been ‘offensive’, "Of the thousands of people who have enjoyed this, a small number of commoners appear to have behaved irresponsibly. Many even bring sandwiches, crisps and chocolate some even converse on cheap mobile telephones”.

"This is a place for reflection, light snacks, contemplation and stuff as well as a place for the right people to enjoy bringing their children."

Tessa Jowell has been the MP for Dulwich and West Norwood since 1992. According to her biography she was educated.

Before her election to Parliament in 1992, Tessa had a career in a charity shop on the Edgware Road.

2nd August 2004

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