Topless Women Terrorise Beaches in Romania

Unattractive, topless women are terrorising a beach resort in the Black Sea, police have said.

The topless women, mostly aged over 65 years, walk up and down the sea front, browse for gifts in gift shops and sometimes lay chest upwards on the sand.

These women have had a 'markedly detrimental' effect on tourism in the resort of Concertina County, Romania, complain police.

On one beach, popular for volleyball, ice cream sales have fallen by over 25% so far this year.

The local police, determined to stop the situation getting any worse, are recruiting more officers to ensure that only women attractive enough to go topless are allowed to do so.

Those women deemed 'unfit' and seen walking, or bathing, topless on the beach will be arrested under new emergency anti-terrorism laws.

Police Chief Victor Poppeldopolis said that he is co-ordinating the setting up of a crack squad of beach monitoring agents:

"It sounds like a good job, looking at topless women all day, but the hours are long and the money is not so good - and after about eight months you get bored of looking at sagging tits all day long."

Police are to set up security check points where women can go for advice on whether they are deemed attractive enough to go topless - these will be staffed by officers with absolutely no qualifications whatsoever.

Elsewhere, the resort is to introduce minimum walking speeds in areas where particularly high levels of unattractive topless women have been reported.

There will also be a SWAT squad which can be called into action in grievous breaches of the new anti-topless laws. They will be armed with large towels and big baggy t-shirts.

7th August 2004

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