Oxford English Dictionary To Update The Word 'Whitewash'

A spokesperson for Oxford English Dictionary has allegedly announced that it is to update the word ‘whitewash’ to that of a more contemporary meaning.

The reason expressed for this unprecedented move is because in the wake of outcomes of both the ‘Hutton’ report and the most recent ‘Butler’ report, it had noticed an increase in the use of the ‘w’ word.

This use was noted to be predominately made by dissatisfied anti-war parties mainly consisting of dss scrounging socialists, unstable communist dabbling students, blinker eyed far-left wingers old enough to know better and left-wing press, belonging to parties such as CPGB, Liberal Democrats, and R.E.S.P.E.C.T who’s leaders include Saddam sycophant George ‘Sir, I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability’ Galloway and Tony ‘what’s your favourite colour Saddam’ Ben.

The spokesperson speaking from anonymity who wanted to be known only as source ‘A’ commented “we had noticed that these specific people would argue that orange is really black if it was to help them justify why a man responsible for the deaths of 1.26 million Iraqis and other Arabs, and for the creation of 4.54 million refugees should have stayed in power. And how Veto nations should have been allowed to continue striking up oil deals and exporting arms to this man if the sanctions were brought down”. “And it was this that made us feel after a brief thought out discussion that a more contemporary change in the meaning of the word was nothing short of fitting under the present circumstances”.

Meanwhile in another relevant development, left-wing protestors holding up ‘Bliar’ and ‘No-war’ placards on a ‘weekday’ outside parliament have called for another enquiry into the enquiry because it did not give them the conclusions that they were all hoping for.

A whitewash official for the group said “we will keep calling for enquiries at the tax payers expense for all eternity until we get the result we want, even if that means re-writing history, facts or stamping our feet crossing our arms and dropping our bottom lip”.

“The fact that Tony Blair did not even say as much as sorry is most upsetting to us” they waffled on.

18th July 2004

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