The British government, terrified that lies which may have been told by the British prime minister to justify the war in Iraq will end up costing him his job, have awarded 500,000 pounds sterling (approx 750,000$US) to the universities of Essex and Bristol to fund development of a replacement thinking robot.

Professor Tom Troscianko from the university of Bristol will be using the funding to develop parts of the future robot's brain.

He told us: "Creation of a robot that truly thinks, a machine that is actually conscious of it's environment and it's relation to that environment is some way off... But phase one, a politician who doesn't give a damn about the environment and vaguely appears to think really shouldn't be that difficult."

Critics however say that the project is essentially based upon Downing Street's "incomplete" understanding of the field and particularly the belief of Tony Blair who is a huge “Terminator” fan, that Arnold Swarzenegger, who the Governor of California is indeed a robot.

Slymiengh Bloosterbloog of the Swedish coalition for peace commented: "It's like kids and father christmas... At some point someone needs to intervene, we have to explain to Tony about Arnie, tell him what's real and what isn't and get him away from watching all these violent films and back in the real world before he causes some harm."

* Stories are written as satire and are fictious.

25th October 2004

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