The Iraqi and Afghan teams continued to display remarkable resilience in this the 17th week of the Hide'n'seek World Champioship Final by out-foxing each other, spectators and Pentagon officials in the last game of the tournament currently being played out at varoius undisclosed locations around the globe.

So far, only the few members of each team who chose to hide under beds or behind doors in the immediate vicinity of the game's starting point have been captured, but there is a strong suspicion that these may not be the masterminds behind the respective teams' plans.

Officials were said to be growing weary of the ceaseless monotony of the final round, which they feared was driving spectators away, and had even tried to stage a hoax awards ceremony last week in a desperate attempt to draw the contestants out into the open. The elaborate ceremony involved Craig David and Barbara Streisand performing an opening rap-duet followed by one-thousand ice-dancers and synchronised swimmers moving in sync to a light and music dispaly by Jean Michel Jarre, but it was obviously not enough to impress any of the competitors into revealing their hiding place.

Officials did admit that it may have been their fault for not agreeing any end-date to the game in advance, but said that they had not appreciated the full intricacies of the game when it began. The Iraqi and Afghan teams taught them how complex it could get.

They have now been forced to issue large cash rewards in conjunction with the Pentagon and the CIA for information as to the whereabouts of any of the competitors. They are also offering smaller prizes of herds of goats for vague clues or cryptic hints.

None of the players could be found for a comment on the likely outcome. Their managers and coaches were nowhere to be found either.

7th September 2004

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